Christmas came and went. I was too busy to think about what had happened in Fiore’s kitchen. I hadn’t had time to deal with the knowledge that the man I’d been chasing had a safe word. Or the fact that his supposed friend had tried to force himself on him. It was the weekend before New Years and Zion was hopping. I’d been avoiding the gym, hell I’d been avoiding everything but tonight Drew needed another bartender so I came in. The holidays always brought in more guests.
Even the holiday theme didn’t deter our regulars. Our serving girls exchanged their usual black leather for hot little red numbers and Santa hats. They’d been wearing them for about two weeks. But this was the first time I’d been to Zion where I got to see them at work.
My tips were great. But then they never were bad. When you flirted with both the guys and the girls you got the best of both worlds. I was grateful that the bane of my thoughts hadn’t shown up. Being busy hadn’t meant that he was far from my thoughts. I just couldn’t deal with them. One moment I’d be watching a TV show and a thought would cross my mind – how was pretty boy doing? I wondered how his classes had gone. How Fiore was doing? I wondered about everything except what to do about what I’d learned.
It was 3am and Finn and I were closing down Zion with a few lingering staff washing down the tables and bar stools while I took stock of the bar. Finn was off making sure everything was in order after a night of drunken festivities by our patrons. So I was alone with my thoughts.
And it was the first slow moment I’d had all week. Monday was New Years Eve and I wondered what Angel was going to do. Hell I was wondering what I was going to do. Until Christmas eve my plans had been with him. But we’d not spoken to each other since Christmas eve. No texts, no bumping into each other. Complete silence. I had been avoiding him to a degree but I was also just that busy.
Finn stepped behind the bar and frowned, “What’s got you scowling so hard?”
I looked up and sighed. “Nothing.”
“Whatever Zane.” Finn shook his head. “If you want to talk I’ll be in my office.”
I didn’t want to talk. I just wanted to get the pretty boy out of my head. Fucking him hadn’t worked. Not seeing him hadn’t worked. Fighting with him hadn’t worked. I wondered whether or not I’d said those things just to fight and end things. I wasn’t into the whole dominating someone. Scenes and safe words. I liked to try new things, but bondage and submission? I didn’t want someone to live to serve. Which begged to question – what did I want? Obviously I wanted more of Angel. I dreamt of him. He was in my waking thoughts. No matter what I did I was thinking about him.
I’d finished with inventory twenty minutes before Finn had come over so I followed him into his office and sat down in one of the swivle chairs and let out a deep huff of air. “I’m so done with this.” I said.
“With what?” Finn asked as he scanned each of the cameras one last time.
“With pretty boy.” I said dryly.
Finn didn’t look at me as he asked, “What he do?”
“Nothing. It’s what he likes.”
“So he’s got some kinks. Some would say you have a pretty weird kink. Most men don’t like men.” Finn said as he flipped the monitors off one by one then looked at me. “Is it worth being miserable over?”
“I’m not miserable.”
Finn laughed. “Whatever you say, Zane. I’m grabbing some breakfast you coming?”
I nodded. “Yeah, why not.”